You want the truth...You can't handle the truth; Mark 3:20-21, Can I go it alone when everyone thinks I'm crazy.
This was a great exchange between two Soldiers in a good movie. It really highlights tonights lesson and I think you'll see why. As I continue in my study of the Gospel of Mark thru the book, "The Leadership Lessons of Jesus" I have learned many things. My eyes have been opened to a whole new level of leadership principles that have added new dimensions to the training I've already received. Today's lesson is no different. It's all about Soldiering on even when those closest to you don't share your vision and the fallout that soon comes.
I've already learned (many years ago when I was promoted to the Non-Commissioned Officer ranks) that leadership in not always popular nor is it a popularity contest. But an issue that I have come across more often than not is when those around you start to question your abilities, your attributes and just plain don't understand your direction. To a point we all can expect to take the occasional shot when we make a mistake or are unsure what the next step is. They come from everyone around you, your friends, your co-workers, even your family. How many times, husbands, has your father and/or mother-in-law questioned your motives or how you handle your life, your business, your household? How many family arguements have insued over holiday meals and get togethers when your visions cross and neither of you can just agree to disagree? Well, to be honest with you, no one is immune from these type of attacks. Even Jesus had to put up with the same issues. Mostly because no one was capable of truly sharing in his vision lock, stock and barrel. But He was prepared, both for the attack to come from within, AND the attack that comes from those who thought they knew better and made it their business. So how did he defend these? Well, for starters, He had a plan, a vision, one that was worth His life to ensure the accomplishment of. He had already anticipated those closest to him to ask those questions and make those comments and not understand. But He also anticipated the attacks that came from everyone else; even his own family. Those who should have supported Him to the bitter end, questioned His rationale, His motives, His authority and His sanity. Man, I don't know if I would be able to handle that one. My family supports me 100% in what I do and what I am about to do. For that I thank God everyday, just waking up, knowing my Wife and daughters love me and support me is hope enough to muscle thru even the toughest days. Now, it's not all rosey; their have been many discussions in our house about what I'm doing, and why I have to be gone...again. But thru it all, they have supported me and for that I am eternally grateful. But, if my family didn't support my mission, my vision, my ideal...wow, that's a tough pill to swallow. Jesus' family even said that "we need to take charge of Him because He is out of His mind".
So, how do you deal with it? For me, I have always put the ideal of what the Army stands for, first. Second, I take refuge in the fact that they placed me in a position to lead, not follow. This allows me to act with authority and be the unpopular one in the crowd when no one else agrees or wants to follow orders. But it's not just that simple. The biggest question I ask myself when making a tough choice is "am I willing to pay the price for my decision when I've made it?" And not just dealing with the questions and the comments, that's easy, it's the second and third order affects that come as a result of my decision. But something else I've learned is to embrace the questioning, welcome the criticism. It helps me to stop and truly think about the decision I'm making or about to make and use those questions and criticisms to help me decide if I'm still on the right path. Sometime I can get so wrapped up in the endstate that I could very easily have looked over a very crucial detail that would have absolutely crushed what I was about to do. I will tell right now, if you don't handle criticism well, you are NOT ready to lead. The whole point to free-thinking and free-will is that everyone has it and we are all motiviated by different things. I tell my Soldiers, whether I'm teaching a class, giving a briefing or just handing out guidance; ask questions. Dig into it, learn about it, and then question it. Yes their is a time and place where you need to salute the flag and drive on but if you are one to blindly follow orders without question, what are you learning?
Now, it's ok, if you're not cut out to be a leader; but you must understand that about yourself. And if you don't have someone to mentor you and be your honest broker to let you know if your cut from the right cloth or not...you need to get some better friends. One's that will truly be looking out for your best interest and in turn, you looking out for theres (that goes for the whole accountability thing too). But if you are one of those leaders, what are you doing to help mentor those who are subordinate to you? A practice I picked up on from one of my mentors is developmental counselling. The Army has a great form that can be used in many different ways and I have both used it and had it used on me to help develop, mentor, punish and reward me for the things I've done and need to do to be a better leader. That piece of it has helped shape me into the NCO I am today; I may still have tons to learn, but I have also learned so much; the first lesson being, have a thick skin and an open mind. If you can't have that you will never be ready to lead no matter how badly you want to be the one calling the shots.
The next piece to this is; are you ready to fail? Are you willing to be so commited to your mission, that you are willing to lay down your life for it? We had a very humbling yet rewarding example on commitment to mission this last week with Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Those most fortunate to witness both the crucifiction and the ressurection first hand were able to see, in three days, both the price and the reward for someone completely dedicated to mission first, troops always. Now, I'm not saying that everything that I do will be worthy of me to fall on my sword, but I have to take a close, hard look at those things that are of the most critical importance and ask myself if I have the intestinal fortitude to see it thru, even when the chips are down. I have to count the cost and ask myself what am I willing to sacrifice in order to see the mission thru to the end. Even if it means that I may loose some of my most trusted friends, any personal gain, and yes, even members of my own family. When I am are prepared to lose everything, I also stand to gain everything. But, more importantly, when I fail, do I have what it takes inside to lace up my boots, shoulder my pack, grab my weapon and move out smartly. God willing, I pray it so.
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